Vinegar Years- Chapter 1

His early years were colored mainly by his bitter father. His young mind wrestled with the riddle of why his father was such a miserable prick. He did not blame himself, he was more fascinated by the wild behaviour. He was a prisoner of his situation as much as his mother and older brother by 2 years was. The father was sole provider. There was no way out. He had to adapt to the reality. When the father went to work in the morning it was like all tension was released and a sense of normalcy descended. But each afternoon about 5 pm the tension would begin to build. If 6 pm came and went the mother would say "you boys might as well eat now." As each evening hour passed it was a dual feeling of relief the father was not home yet coupled with the growing dread of his eventual drunken and pissed-off arrival. As he got older his hatred for the father grew and leeched into his outlook on everything. He did not, could not, really trust anyone or anything. He became a true sceptic about everything. His self confidence was shot. He became bitter himself, as did his mother and brother. The mother attempted to compensate for the father's pathetic parental example, but it made little differance. He and his brother became rebellious at school and the community. His older brother discovered LSD and later pot. His brother then corrupted him with this. But it provided an escape and an alternative and parallel existance.